Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Nothing is Sacred, the World is Ending, yada yada....

It's bad enough that we have to see Steve Martin try to take on the Pink Panther legacy, but news of a remake of "Every Which Way But Loose" starring The Rock is more than I can bear. Why not Tom Cruise in "Citizen Kane?" Jennifer Love Hewitt in "Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Vince Vaughn in "Psycho" (oops)?

If there is a God, He will arrange for Clint Eastwood to take The Rock out back of the 'shed for a little chat...

Friday, January 20, 2006

Yes, Paris Hilton IS that stupid

From Defamer,

America’s Darling™ Paris Hilton is being sued for having planted a malicious story in Page Six about Zeta Graff, the ex-girlfriend of her then boyfriend Paris Latsis. A document (from her deposition) reveals just how many complex, subtle shades of stupid she is...

Paris on what she said to Zeta Graff:
She is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at night clubs with young people. And just that - I just…What else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all.

Paris on friendship:
I meet so many people. I don’t even know some of my friends’ names.

Paris on women who stalk women:
I would never say stalking. I’m not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can’t really stalk another girl.

Paris on world travel:
I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is like French — I didn’t see anything because I wasn’t in America.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

American Idol

I think I speak for every thinking person in America when I say that the first week of American Idol is TV nirvana. Screw Masterpiece Theatre and CSPAN. When TV was first invented, this is exactly what what's his name had in mind.

The first week is that rare combination of circus freak show, talent show, scantily clad women, complete dorks, travel channel (hey, I got to see what Gainsville looked like. And I am noticing a slight but incredibly interesting change in hotel conference rooms in each region. Aaaa, America, your beauty is wide and deep), angry parents and relatives who are so deluded by their little angel that they can't see how much they suck and the people trying to become the next William Huong (spelling?) by impressing America with their ability to be both tone deaf and entertaining in a creepy sort of way. And some skinny color commentator. And let's not forget the underlying sexual tension between Paula and Simon and Randy.

I will lose interest when they actually start singing for real. But for now, throw away the controller and get out of the way. There maybe a 300 pound man about to mime out Kenny rogers tunes while wearing a pink tutu.