Friday, July 08, 2005

End of an "E"ra - 11 years of Howard Stern

Tonight at 11 p.m. ET will mark the final original content for "The Howard Stern Show" on the E network. In all honesty, the show was always a bit of a second-tier, disjointed companion to the brilliant morning radio show (also shutting down temporarily with a move to Sirius satellite radio in January). Still in many ways, the E show was the only way for "Middle America" and "night people" to enjoy Howard.

The E show always focused a bit too much on the parade of strippers, b-list actors and "Whack Pack" freaks that populated the show, instead of my favorite parts of the five-hour show - Howard, Robin, Artie (who is Jackie?), Fred (from Mars), Stuttering John (now with Leno?), Ronnie the Limo driver, Gary/Baba Booey, KC, and occasional amazing guests (Courtney Love, Sandra Bernhardt, Farah the freak, David Duchovny, Pam w./w. out Tommy Lee) all talking about their personal lives, loves, loathes and lusts.

As a tearful (beer-ful) tribute, a list of several shows that really benefited from viewing on E:
7) Stuttering John vs. Crazy Cabbie fight - Shockingly, this was actually a really good fight. Thank goodness, John (now a show traitor) prevailed over Cabbie (soon facing one year in prison for tax evasion).
6) The beautiful friend of Cindy Margolis (most downloaded woman) who wore the white tank top and paid for it. Speaking of PR, I love this related release Danni Ashe Issues Challenge To Cindy Margolis On Howard Stern Show. "You've seen mine. Now I want to see yours" Oh, we wish for clients like Danni.
5) The first Beetlejuice appearance in the white tux and headphones - Actually any Beetlejuice appearance (I still love it every time he utters "Me?")
4) Small penis contest - even edited this was unbelievable
3) Gay dance Party w. Matchbox 20 - I recall that Jon Stewart was on the dance floor with Howard; Jackie in a thong with Gay Ramone
2) Artie's baseball challenge in Las Vegas - Radio was excellent, but actually seeing Artie, toasted on Jack Daniels, taking the minor league/college "chick" (Artie's words, not mine) deep after several wild balls was simply great TV.
1) Baba Booey's (with scary mustache) video to his then girlfriend - "My professional life is at a nine, but my personal life is a two." "I gained a lover and I lost a friend. You gained two lovers ... "

Don't cry for Howard, Pop Culture Gems fans - I'm predicting that the show will be moved (with some innovative new touches) to Spike network come January. Maybe then it will be awarded with its long overdue Emmy!

4 Comments:

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Ashley Gags said...

Wow Howard Stern is going off "E" that is so weird. I honestly am very sad because just purely listening to all of the crazy stunts he pulls really isn't enough. You really need to be able to see them. I know I will tune in tonight because I usually fall asleep to the show. Its weird I know! Good bye Howard thanks for the pure entertainment when I couldn't sleep at night or just needed a good laugh during stressful times at college. We will miss your big nose and fluffy hair!

Your female fan,
-Ashley

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger The Optimist said...

And what an era. 11 years of midgets slapping strippers. 11 years of bimbos taking their clothes off and howard saying "o, you have a hot body, come let me spank you." Blah blah blah. Howard is entertaining. But enough of this thinking he is some sort of genius.

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Adam Zand said...

Oh the optimist, I get it - In blog etiquette, I'm supposed to reply about how influential Howard Stern is to the history of radio and entertainment in the last 20 years. I'm supposed to point out his number one radio show in multiple syndicated markets (first to do syndication successfully), his two best selling books, his hilarious (and now post-divorce, kind of sad) movie and his amazing ability to keep people entertained and interested for five hours of radio (well beyond simple dispays of strippers, drunken dwarves and bimbos to us real fans) and 12 hours of funny, sexy TV a week. But I'm not going to "fight back" in blog comment form. It's a waste of time as I've always said the Howard Stern Show is an incredibly funny and fun acquired taste that people don't need to acquire if they don't want.

Instead of blog-attitude, I'm going to add to my previous post of favorite E TV moments:

I now remember the reason I put the Artie baseball challenge as number 2 on my list is mostly due to what came next on the telecast. Yep, so Artie smacks the first real strike to the outfield to win $10K, but then he states he will let the winnings from Sobe drinks ride on one roulette wheel spin for $20K. Anyone who knows Artie's betting history (his possibly helping the Sox and Patriots to championships and also ruining lots of college basketball results and also almost losing a studio season of NFL picks to a man with under 80 IQ, a racist from GA and a chicken named Sanders?), knew that this was a risky bet. So Artie picks Black, the ball circles endlessly and amazingly lands on "00" neither a Black nor a Red, but on the huge longshot odds of Green. Artie loses in amazing Artie fashion. I think the end of that E show or the next one from the Vegas remote featured wasted Artie needing a wheelchair to get to his hotel room and then falling over a sofa. Better living through Jack Daniels.

My other addition to the favorite E TV list is when Artie had a makeover with the cast of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Often painful to watch (in the best/worst Stern show tradition) as Artie dared any one of the Fab 5 or any homosexual to have anal sex with him. His apology was heartfelt and you knew that Artie really liked the guys.

So you're right, I'm not tagging Stern as a genius - he's the best at stating his own significance - but I am so glad that WBCN and E brought him into my early morning/late night routine.

I can't wait for the satelite radio years to begin on Sirius and some interesting TV, movie, book, Internet innovations to follow. As Ashley says, "Howard thanks."

 
At 6:32 AM, Blogger DougH said...

I cry for my country

 

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